The diving from here is glorious. Lisa signed up for a 4 day course from tues to fri, on saturday, she made her way into the great Blue HOLE!!!! Courageous indeed. Details to follow...
During this time Alan did a couple of dives, and caught up on his reading: Miles Davis' autobigraphy (thanks Ernesto!) and a great book on Spirituality and Meditation "No Matter Where You Go, There You Are" (thanks Mikey!). Caye Caulker is a small and friendly place. Lots of overpriced tourist restaurants and, once you know your way around, some good cheap ones.
Unfortuantely, the best coffee shop on the island is run by a fat and mean american mother/daughter combination (both have both qualities, not one of each!) who do not know the difference between 12 and 14 ounces. This brings us to our first of many "Larry David" situations. It all started one morning when I left for my diving class, leaving Alan alone to make trouble. Later that afternoon, when we met up, Alan is grumbling about 2 ounces and how expensive that particular coffee shop is...the one that he loved earlier that morning.
The next morning, I was wondering why Alan was still grumbling as we neared the coffee shop. Unknowingly, I then brought "that awful man" who was described by the locals as "more awful than a counter full of Italians" and the alleged cause of her mothers "shortness of breath and eventual breakdown with subsequent inability to return to work", back into the coffee shop.
At this point, Alan sends me over to the counter to do his bidding. So, I order 2 coffees and some breakfast breads. We were in good shape, coffee on the bar, and the total being tallied, when I realize that I am short about 2 belize dollars. As I head over to the corner where Alan is hiding to get some cash, The Daugher comes out from in back and comes to the counter, saying: "oh, wait.....are you with him????" Knowing naught of the naughtiness of my other half, I reply "yes".
In front of EVERYONE in the shop, The Daughter says, "I told you yesterday, you are not allowed back into this coffee shop. It is a real privilege to be able to have such good coffee here, and you just ruin it!!!!"
Well, I cannot believe how disgusting this scene is as Alan tries to assuage her anger by kissing her fat ass. Embarrassed, hungry, and now late for class, I storm out. "You fix this!" as I slam the $$ into alan's pack and proceed down the street.
I arrive at the dive shop, and am telling what just happened when alan arrives with pastries and 2 coffees. Our swiss friends (who happened to witness The Event) filled in the blanks.
At this point, the facts remain with Alan and the fat lady.
Alan (erm... Larry?) here. WELL, since the fat lady is decidely NOT here to sing, I will just have to tell you my side of the story (which is still nothing to be proud of!).
I dropped Lisa at her dive class the morning before and went to get a re-fill of my coffee, which I figured would be free, since the menu specifically says "Bagle and 14-oz cup of coffee, $3.95" and there's no way the cups they use are 14 oz. So I go and get a fresh cup, and tell her it's a refill from before. She (The Mother) says, "OK, it's a refill, so it's just $1." And I say, (where did this come from???) "Well, that's just silly. This is not a 14 oz cup, so the refill should be free." (Editor's Note: On further reflection, I think caffeine has a bad affect on my morning disposition).
Our swiss friends were sitting right next to me as I said this. They stirred nervously in their seats. The woman, who owns the shop, says "yes, it is". And, unbelievably enough, I say "No, it isn't!".
Well, this is not the kind of thing The Mother is used to hearing from her customers. She kinda just stops, and stares at me. Like she's not sure what to do. Realizing that I was being a bit of a jerk, I said, "I'm being a bit of a jerk". I think I may have even said, "I'm sorry about that". But the inner Larry prevailed, when my next words were "but, your cup is definitely NOT 14 ounces!".
Well, I sat and drank my coffee, while Mom went off somewhere. Then, The Daughter (definitely not a nice person) comes up and squares off with me, saying how much they pay for a pound of coffee, and that they provide a valuable service on the island and they have never had to deal with such rudeness. Which is all just a preface to the coup de grace "I'll tell you how I'll deal with this: when you come back tomorrow, you won't be welcome here".
So, after this, Alan went off and thought about the relative merits of being "right" vs having a nice cup of coffee. I think it was a spiritual breakthrough when I finally realized that it's not always fun to be right!
Later that day, I went back in and apologized sincerely to The Mother, who simply said, "OK. But you made me REALLY MAD!". So, I thought things were pretty much patched up. Oh, one other thing. I actually took my "refill" outside. Took a 16.9 oz water bottle, and made a little scientific experiment (approved by our Swiss friend Marc, wich a PhD in theoretical physics). If you're curious about the result, email me.
Anyway, ( Lisa here again) this all happened between chapters of Alan's spiritual book he is reading about inner peace and co-existence. Funny......
Sometime that day, the legend began to float around the island about "the awful man". I want to return in 20 years and see if the story lives on...
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